It's been over a year. I tried many times to write a new post about this journey of faithfulness but was never able to finish any of them. At times, I was interrupted and unable to get back to writing, but more often, I was stumped about what to write.
During our journey of hosting the boys, the journey of faith was clearly defined: have faith that God will provide the money needed to host the boys and the grace and strength needed to care for them and show them God's love. We stepped out in faith, God provided for all of our needs, and we made it through that portion of the journey. We and the boys were impacted by God's direction and unquestionably changed forever.
But then the boys left. Our lives continued. Our faith never wavered, but was it being tested? And did it need to be? And either way, what did it mean I should write about? Is our faith only important when it is on the line or when we are being asked to do something most would consider unthinkable? Or is it of such vital importance to our existence that it affects aspects of our daily lives in such a way that we don't even always realize how our actions are being determined by our steps of faith.
We are not currently hosting orphans or trying to host orphans--God hasn't directed us back down that path--but we are still in need of God's guidance. We still need our faith in His Divine control to be able to properly react to or deal with the unexpected surprises--good and not-so-good--that pop up randomly during the day. Our faith doesn't leave us during the calm times; that's when we need to strengthen it, support it, with Bible study and Bible memory. We have to build our reservoir of faith so that when the tough times inevitably arrive, we will be strong and ready to pass the test.
I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen in my own walk of faith, but I know that I need to be strong and ready. So, I'll continue to work on my Bible study and memorization. I'll keep turning over the little things to God so that when the big things come, I'll be well-practiced.
And I'll try to also keep posting on my blog. Whether the article is perfectly refined or not. And whether anybody sees it or not.
When your faith is real, it's real all the time and in everything. Not just during a single (though large) test.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
The Solid Rock
It turns out, that our leap of faith became several leaps wrapped into one gigantic experience. But I learned that when you leap because God told you to, you're never really off of the Solid Rock! Even though we felt as if we were dangling in the air, we just had to look down to see that we were standing on a firm foundation.
Oh, the journey of faith has not been without its trials, to be sure! We ran into frustrations getting our fingerprints and background check completed, and an inadvertent complication with our home safety visit (an unknown deadline) almost cost us the entire hosting! Unexpected expenses and a few surprise requirements inserted themselves into our lives, and the thought of the three non-English speaking guests (surprise!) in my house for a couple of weeks had me stressing more than a little.
But God. Two little words that change everything. But God allowed us to get our fingerprints done the second time. But God allowed the visit report to be emailed and arrive on time. But God provided the extra help He knew I would need when the boys arrived. But God had a plan for the boys: they trusted Him while they were here, learning about Jesus in their own language via the internet!
While they were here, we gave the boys love, discipline, and a great vacation! We took them to the zoo and the children's museum (3 times!). We made gingerbread houses, crafty Christmas ornaments, and went shopping together. We played in the snow, went to the library, played in the arcade, and went bowling. We took them to church and introduced them to new friends. We had their eyes checked (glasses for one) and got their teeth cleaned and fixed (rotten teeth gone or filled). We did "normal" things, too, like playing at home all day and making a mad dash to the grocery store (me alone with five small children!).
Caring for our two orphan boys as well as our own three small boys challenged me, to say the least! Only with much prayer and God's grace did we all make it through! The prayers and support of family and friends held me up when I thought I couldn't make it anymore. Knowing that we were doing exactly what God had asked us to do sustained me. Truly, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me," (Philippians 4:13).
We sent the each of the boys back to their country with a Children's Bible in Latvian and a full copy of John and Romans in Latvian. We packed their suitcases with clothes and Christmas presents and tons of socks! We put them on the plane with numerous hugs and kisses and, I hope, a lot of love in their hearts.
Taking this leap of faith was definitely easier said than done. It was easy to say, "Yes, we can host these boys," but difficult and challenging to actually do it--to send in all the money, to get fingerprinted and background checked (5 times!), to rearrange the house to accommodate the extra people, to bring them in and treat them as our own, to love them when they fought us, to push past the exhaustion and continue to care, to take them on outings in spite of the meltdowns, to open our hearts and our home and our family for a full month and then trust God to care for them as we sent them back. It was physically tough and emotionally hard. But it was spiritually rewarding. What a blessing to see them trust Jesus for salvation! What a privilege to help them with vision and dental health--and such a blessing to be assisted by the dentists who donated their time and services!! How affirming to have the continued love, support, prayers, and approval of our family throughout the entire process! What an honor to have the prayers and support on so many levels of our church family and our friends! Blessing after blessing in spite of trial after trial. But then, isn't that how it works? Aren't the trials what gives our faith the opportunity to grow? Aren't the blessings sometimes rewards from God for doing as He asked?
Leaps of faith aren't supposed to be easy, but they are supposed to be worth taking. This one definitely was, and I am forever grateful that God chose us to take it.
I'm not sure where this journey of faith will take us next. We did pray about whether or not we should pursue adoption of these precious boys, but God very clearly closed the door for us. As far as we know, they are available for adoption; thus, we are praying fervently for a loving Christian family to adopt them. I know God has a plan for these boys just as much as I know He has a plan for us. Whatever leap He asks us to take next, we will be able to take in faith, knowing that He will be with us, He will provide for us, and He will still be supporting us as our firm foundation, the Solid Rock.
Oh, the journey of faith has not been without its trials, to be sure! We ran into frustrations getting our fingerprints and background check completed, and an inadvertent complication with our home safety visit (an unknown deadline) almost cost us the entire hosting! Unexpected expenses and a few surprise requirements inserted themselves into our lives, and the thought of the three non-English speaking guests (surprise!) in my house for a couple of weeks had me stressing more than a little.
But God. Two little words that change everything. But God allowed us to get our fingerprints done the second time. But God allowed the visit report to be emailed and arrive on time. But God provided the extra help He knew I would need when the boys arrived. But God had a plan for the boys: they trusted Him while they were here, learning about Jesus in their own language via the internet!
While they were here, we gave the boys love, discipline, and a great vacation! We took them to the zoo and the children's museum (3 times!). We made gingerbread houses, crafty Christmas ornaments, and went shopping together. We played in the snow, went to the library, played in the arcade, and went bowling. We took them to church and introduced them to new friends. We had their eyes checked (glasses for one) and got their teeth cleaned and fixed (rotten teeth gone or filled). We did "normal" things, too, like playing at home all day and making a mad dash to the grocery store (me alone with five small children!).
Caring for our two orphan boys as well as our own three small boys challenged me, to say the least! Only with much prayer and God's grace did we all make it through! The prayers and support of family and friends held me up when I thought I couldn't make it anymore. Knowing that we were doing exactly what God had asked us to do sustained me. Truly, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me," (Philippians 4:13).
We sent the each of the boys back to their country with a Children's Bible in Latvian and a full copy of John and Romans in Latvian. We packed their suitcases with clothes and Christmas presents and tons of socks! We put them on the plane with numerous hugs and kisses and, I hope, a lot of love in their hearts.
Taking this leap of faith was definitely easier said than done. It was easy to say, "Yes, we can host these boys," but difficult and challenging to actually do it--to send in all the money, to get fingerprinted and background checked (5 times!), to rearrange the house to accommodate the extra people, to bring them in and treat them as our own, to love them when they fought us, to push past the exhaustion and continue to care, to take them on outings in spite of the meltdowns, to open our hearts and our home and our family for a full month and then trust God to care for them as we sent them back. It was physically tough and emotionally hard. But it was spiritually rewarding. What a blessing to see them trust Jesus for salvation! What a privilege to help them with vision and dental health--and such a blessing to be assisted by the dentists who donated their time and services!! How affirming to have the continued love, support, prayers, and approval of our family throughout the entire process! What an honor to have the prayers and support on so many levels of our church family and our friends! Blessing after blessing in spite of trial after trial. But then, isn't that how it works? Aren't the trials what gives our faith the opportunity to grow? Aren't the blessings sometimes rewards from God for doing as He asked?
Leaps of faith aren't supposed to be easy, but they are supposed to be worth taking. This one definitely was, and I am forever grateful that God chose us to take it.
I'm not sure where this journey of faith will take us next. We did pray about whether or not we should pursue adoption of these precious boys, but God very clearly closed the door for us. As far as we know, they are available for adoption; thus, we are praying fervently for a loving Christian family to adopt them. I know God has a plan for these boys just as much as I know He has a plan for us. Whatever leap He asks us to take next, we will be able to take in faith, knowing that He will be with us, He will provide for us, and He will still be supporting us as our firm foundation, the Solid Rock.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Don't Look Down
We stepped out in faith, hanging in the air, praying that we land on our Solid Rock. God gave confirmation after confirmation that we had followed Him.
And then the outward confirmations stopped, and Satan's sinister whispers began. "It's not going to work. God won't provide the money. You've heard how He's helped others, but He'll never help you. What made you think that you could be even a little bit like those men and women--heroes--of the faith? Do you really think that you're that special? Do you really think He cares that much about you? You don't pray enough to warrant His help. You don't care enough about other people. There's no way that God will waste His time on you. You made a mistake. You have ruined your family and destroyed your children. You did it, and now you are going to pay." His taunts echo in my mind and haunt my dreams.
The truth is, I'm not that special. I don't pray enough, and I don't care enough. But the problem with Satan's accusations is that, even though some of them are true, they pull my focus away from God and put it squarely on myself. As Peter, walking on the water, looked away from the Lord to see his precarious position and thus began to sink, when I pull my gaze away from God above to look down at myself, I then tumble headlong into Satan's trap of self-pity and discouragement.
The truth is that I am not worthy of God's love, and I am not worthy to be chosen by Him to live a courageous Christian life of faith. But He doesn't ask me to be worthy; He asks me to trust in Him, the only One Who is worthy. The life of faith begins with faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and it continues with faith in Jesus Christ and what He promises to every believer.
"...I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen." Matthew 28:20
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." Psalm 23:1
"For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations." Psalm 100:5
"The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore." Psalm 121:7-8
I want to trust Him. I want to keep my focus on Him and not on my circumstances. I must if I am to continue walking in faith. When Satan slyly slips those nasty allegations into my thoughts, I must bring those thoughts into captivity "to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5) so that He will not have cause to say, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" (Matthew 14:31).
And then the outward confirmations stopped, and Satan's sinister whispers began. "It's not going to work. God won't provide the money. You've heard how He's helped others, but He'll never help you. What made you think that you could be even a little bit like those men and women--heroes--of the faith? Do you really think that you're that special? Do you really think He cares that much about you? You don't pray enough to warrant His help. You don't care enough about other people. There's no way that God will waste His time on you. You made a mistake. You have ruined your family and destroyed your children. You did it, and now you are going to pay." His taunts echo in my mind and haunt my dreams.
The truth is, I'm not that special. I don't pray enough, and I don't care enough. But the problem with Satan's accusations is that, even though some of them are true, they pull my focus away from God and put it squarely on myself. As Peter, walking on the water, looked away from the Lord to see his precarious position and thus began to sink, when I pull my gaze away from God above to look down at myself, I then tumble headlong into Satan's trap of self-pity and discouragement.
The truth is that I am not worthy of God's love, and I am not worthy to be chosen by Him to live a courageous Christian life of faith. But He doesn't ask me to be worthy; He asks me to trust in Him, the only One Who is worthy. The life of faith begins with faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and it continues with faith in Jesus Christ and what He promises to every believer.
"...I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen." Matthew 28:20
"Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." Psalm 23:1
"For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations." Psalm 100:5
"The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul. The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore." Psalm 121:7-8
I want to trust Him. I want to keep my focus on Him and not on my circumstances. I must if I am to continue walking in faith. When Satan slyly slips those nasty allegations into my thoughts, I must bring those thoughts into captivity "to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5) so that He will not have cause to say, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" (Matthew 14:31).
Sunday, September 22, 2013
In the Air
We leaped!
We said, "Yes," to God, and like Indiana Jones stepping off the cliff onto the invisible bridge, we stepped off solid ground into the air.
We said, "Yes," to hosting two international orphan brothers, ages six and nine, in our home over the winter break and Christmas holiday. We are excited about the opportunity and can hardly wait to meet the boys! But we are, also, clinging to our faith in God, for this is quite possibly the biggest test He has ever given us. The boys speak no English, and the nine year old has what we believe to be cerebral palsy. It will cost more than what we have to bring them over and provide for their needs once they are here. It will be physically and mentally challenging to take care of them and our own three boys for an entire month. There will be hurdles and obstacles to overcome that we won't even be able to anticipate. We are hanging in the air, praying that there is something solid beneath us to land on.
There is! We haven't landed, yet; all the answers aren't there, yet. But we know there is a Solid Rock below our feet, and with God's grace, we will land squarely on top of Him!
Please continue to pray for us and these sweet little boys as God guides us on this journey of faith.
We said, "Yes," to God, and like Indiana Jones stepping off the cliff onto the invisible bridge, we stepped off solid ground into the air.
We said, "Yes," to hosting two international orphan brothers, ages six and nine, in our home over the winter break and Christmas holiday. We are excited about the opportunity and can hardly wait to meet the boys! But we are, also, clinging to our faith in God, for this is quite possibly the biggest test He has ever given us. The boys speak no English, and the nine year old has what we believe to be cerebral palsy. It will cost more than what we have to bring them over and provide for their needs once they are here. It will be physically and mentally challenging to take care of them and our own three boys for an entire month. There will be hurdles and obstacles to overcome that we won't even be able to anticipate. We are hanging in the air, praying that there is something solid beneath us to land on.
There is! We haven't landed, yet; all the answers aren't there, yet. But we know there is a Solid Rock below our feet, and with God's grace, we will land squarely on top of Him!
Please continue to pray for us and these sweet little boys as God guides us on this journey of faith.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Leap of Faith
I. Am. Scared.
I think God is taking my blog a bit too literally. When I said I want to live a life of faith, what I meant was...well...what did I mean? I said I want to have the faith of those who trusted God when they had nothing, when they were faced with severe penalties for following His plan, when He asked them to do the unthinkable. So why am I so scared now that He's giving me that opportunity?
I'm scared of what others may think. What He's asking of my husband and me is ridiculous. This is not the way you do things in this day and age. You don't step out in faith like the priests did to part the Red Sea. No! That's old school! Now-a-days, you wait until God parts the Sea and then step out onto the dry land. No wet feet for us, anymore! Only "radical" Christians do weird things like that. Only Christians with nothing to lose take leaps of faith without knowing how it will all work out. Right?
I'm scared of what may happen to my family. This will take away any safety net that we may possibly have left. What if something goes wrong? What if we can't get back what we need? I already feel as if we are struggling. I already feel as if we are living by faith just to make it from month to month. I've already evaluated the logical options and exhausted all possibilities of, well, not having to live so much by faith. I can't make it work. How can I take the little that we have left and use it all up?
*Sigh.* The time has come to call it what it is: I'm scared to obey. Is that true? Did I actually confess that? Yes. I did. I'm scared to do what God is telling me to do; therefore, I am scared to obey. What is wrong with me? Isn't obedience what I teach my children every day? Don't we talk about "giving what [we] cannot keep to gain what [we] cannot lose" (Jim Elliott)? Doesn't God usually ask us to do what seems ridiculous and impossible in order to be glorified in the result? Abraham had to move away from everything with no clear destination before God could make a great nation out of him. One widow had to share the last bit of food she had with the prophet before God could bless her with more. Another widow had to pour out the oil she had left into the other pots for God to multiply it. Yet another widow was praised by Jesus Himself for giving her last bit of money to the ministry, and I doubt He failed to provide for her in some way after that. How can I think that He will not provide for my family if we simply obey Him?
We are not missionaries in a foreign land. We have not been called to travel the states as evangelists or Christian performers living off of love offerings. We have been blessed with a house, a job, three beautiful little boys, a loving family, a Bible-preaching church, godly friends, and more. What He's asking of us should not take any of those things away, and what it will take is not more than what our Heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills cannot replace or restore if necessary, right? He took care of others when they obeyed His leading and blessed them with even more than what they gave. What a blessing, then, for us to be asked to take such a leap of faith!
So now there is no room for fear, only power and love and a sound mind. There is no other choice but to obey and leap.
Please pray for us as we step out into the water and watch for God to part the Red Sea.
I think God is taking my blog a bit too literally. When I said I want to live a life of faith, what I meant was...well...what did I mean? I said I want to have the faith of those who trusted God when they had nothing, when they were faced with severe penalties for following His plan, when He asked them to do the unthinkable. So why am I so scared now that He's giving me that opportunity?
I'm scared of what others may think. What He's asking of my husband and me is ridiculous. This is not the way you do things in this day and age. You don't step out in faith like the priests did to part the Red Sea. No! That's old school! Now-a-days, you wait until God parts the Sea and then step out onto the dry land. No wet feet for us, anymore! Only "radical" Christians do weird things like that. Only Christians with nothing to lose take leaps of faith without knowing how it will all work out. Right?
I'm scared of what may happen to my family. This will take away any safety net that we may possibly have left. What if something goes wrong? What if we can't get back what we need? I already feel as if we are struggling. I already feel as if we are living by faith just to make it from month to month. I've already evaluated the logical options and exhausted all possibilities of, well, not having to live so much by faith. I can't make it work. How can I take the little that we have left and use it all up?
*Sigh.* The time has come to call it what it is: I'm scared to obey. Is that true? Did I actually confess that? Yes. I did. I'm scared to do what God is telling me to do; therefore, I am scared to obey. What is wrong with me? Isn't obedience what I teach my children every day? Don't we talk about "giving what [we] cannot keep to gain what [we] cannot lose" (Jim Elliott)? Doesn't God usually ask us to do what seems ridiculous and impossible in order to be glorified in the result? Abraham had to move away from everything with no clear destination before God could make a great nation out of him. One widow had to share the last bit of food she had with the prophet before God could bless her with more. Another widow had to pour out the oil she had left into the other pots for God to multiply it. Yet another widow was praised by Jesus Himself for giving her last bit of money to the ministry, and I doubt He failed to provide for her in some way after that. How can I think that He will not provide for my family if we simply obey Him?
We are not missionaries in a foreign land. We have not been called to travel the states as evangelists or Christian performers living off of love offerings. We have been blessed with a house, a job, three beautiful little boys, a loving family, a Bible-preaching church, godly friends, and more. What He's asking of us should not take any of those things away, and what it will take is not more than what our Heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills cannot replace or restore if necessary, right? He took care of others when they obeyed His leading and blessed them with even more than what they gave. What a blessing, then, for us to be asked to take such a leap of faith!
So now there is no room for fear, only power and love and a sound mind. There is no other choice but to obey and leap.
Please pray for us as we step out into the water and watch for God to part the Red Sea.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The Journey Begins
I've always admired the faith of those whose stories are told in Christian circles as examples of complete reliance upon God. Men like George Muller and Jim Elliot; women like Elisabeth Elliot and Corrie Ten Boom; Biblical examples like Ruth and Abraham and Esther. I suppose it's easy now to look at their lives and say, "Of course, they relied on God; look what He did for them." But as they were in the moment, experiencing those trials and tests of faith, I doubt they felt so flippant about it. Yet, they pursued with faith and trust in God Almighty that path which lay before them, which He had chosen and designed for them, both knowing the struggles they would face but both also knowing that God would carry them through as they leaned upon His Mighty Arm.
So, why should it be any different for me. When I faced the trial of loneliness and singleness when my heart cried out for something different, God was there. When I had medical issues, housing issues, job problems, and car troubles, God was there. I trusted. I had faith. I struggled. It was not as easy as I had thought it would be to live from day to day without the answer to my prayers being anything but, "Have faith; trust Me."
I did trust. I did have faith. It was hard, but God did come through and bring to pass the answers I had longed for. He took care of the physical needs and brought me a Prince Charming in His timing. He's given me a beautiful family for which I am eternally grateful.
But the journey of faith was only beginning.
So, why should it be any different for me. When I faced the trial of loneliness and singleness when my heart cried out for something different, God was there. When I had medical issues, housing issues, job problems, and car troubles, God was there. I trusted. I had faith. I struggled. It was not as easy as I had thought it would be to live from day to day without the answer to my prayers being anything but, "Have faith; trust Me."
I did trust. I did have faith. It was hard, but God did come through and bring to pass the answers I had longed for. He took care of the physical needs and brought me a Prince Charming in His timing. He's given me a beautiful family for which I am eternally grateful.
But the journey of faith was only beginning.
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