Leap of Faith

I. Am. Scared.

I think God is taking my blog a bit too literally.  When I said I want to live a life of faith, what I meant was...well...what did I mean?  I said I want to have the faith of those who trusted God when they had nothing, when they were faced with severe penalties for following His plan, when He asked them to do the unthinkable.  So why am I so scared now that He's giving me that opportunity?

I'm scared of what others may think.  What He's asking of my husband and me is ridiculous.  This is not the way you do things in this day and age.  You don't step out in faith like the priests did to part the Red Sea.  No!  That's old school!  Now-a-days, you wait until God parts the Sea and then step out onto the dry land.  No wet feet for us, anymore!  Only "radical" Christians do weird things like that.  Only Christians with nothing to lose take leaps of faith without knowing how it will all work out. Right?

I'm scared of what may happen to my family.  This will take away any safety net that we may possibly have left.  What if something goes wrong?  What if we can't get back what we need?  I already feel as if we are struggling.  I already feel as if we are living by faith just to make it from month to month.  I've already evaluated the logical options and exhausted all possibilities of, well, not having to live so much by faith.  I can't make it work.  How can I take the little that we have left and use it all up?

*Sigh.*  The time has come to call it what it is: I'm scared to obey.  Is that true?  Did I actually confess that?  Yes.  I did.  I'm scared to do what God is telling me to do; therefore, I am scared to obey.  What is wrong with me?  Isn't obedience what I teach my children every day?  Don't we talk about "giving what [we] cannot keep to gain what [we] cannot lose" (Jim Elliott)?  Doesn't God usually ask us to do what seems ridiculous and impossible in order to be glorified in the result?  Abraham had to move away from everything with no clear destination before God could make a great nation out of him.  One widow had to share the last bit of food she had with the prophet before God could bless her with more.  Another widow had to pour out the oil she had left into the other pots for God to multiply it.  Yet another widow was praised by Jesus Himself for giving her last bit of money to the ministry, and I doubt He failed to provide for her in some way after that.  How can I think that He will not provide for my family if we simply obey Him?

We are not missionaries in a foreign land.  We have not been called to travel the states as evangelists or Christian performers living off of love offerings.  We have been blessed with a house, a job, three beautiful little boys, a loving family, a Bible-preaching church, godly friends, and more.  What He's asking of us should not take any of those things away, and what it will take is not more than what our Heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills cannot replace or restore if necessary, right?  He took care of others when they obeyed His leading and blessed them with even more than what they gave.  What a blessing, then, for us to be asked to take such a leap of faith!

So now there is no room for fear, only power and love and a sound mind.  There is no other choice but to obey and leap.

Please pray for us as we step out into the water and watch for God to part the Red Sea.