Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Don't Look Down

We stepped out in faith, hanging in the air, praying that we land on our Solid Rock.  God gave confirmation after confirmation that we had followed Him.

And then the outward confirmations stopped, and Satan's sinister whispers began.  "It's not going to work.  God won't provide the money.  You've heard how He's helped others, but He'll never help you.  What made you think that you could be even a little bit like those men and women--heroes--of the faith?  Do you really think that you're that special?  Do you really think He cares that much about you?  You don't pray enough to warrant His help.  You don't care enough about other people.  There's no way that God will waste His time on you.  You made a mistake.  You have ruined your family and destroyed your children.  You did it, and now you are going to pay."  His taunts echo in my mind and haunt my dreams.

The truth is, I'm not that special.  I don't pray enough, and I don't care enough.  But the problem with Satan's accusations is that, even though some of them are true, they pull my focus away from God and put it squarely on myself.  As Peter, walking on the water, looked away from the Lord to see his precarious position and thus began to sink, when I pull my gaze away from God above to look down at myself, I then tumble headlong into Satan's trap of self-pity and discouragement.

The truth is that I am not worthy of God's love, and I am not worthy to be chosen by Him to live a courageous Christian life of faith.  But He doesn't ask me to be worthy; He asks me to trust in Him, the only One Who is worthy.  The life of faith begins with faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, and it continues with faith in Jesus Christ and what He promises to every believer.

"...I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.  Amen."  Matthew 28:20

"Have not I commanded thee?  Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."  Joshua 1:9

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."  Psalm 23:1

"For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endureth to all generations."  Psalm 100:5

"The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: He shall preserve thy soul.  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore."  Psalm 121:7-8

I want to trust Him.  I want to keep my focus on Him and not on my circumstances.  I must if I am to continue walking in faith.  When Satan slyly slips those nasty allegations into my thoughts, I must bring those thoughts into captivity "to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5) so that He will not have cause to say, "O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?" (Matthew 14:31).

Sunday, September 22, 2013

In the Air

We leaped!

We said, "Yes," to God, and like Indiana Jones stepping off the cliff onto the invisible bridge, we stepped off solid ground into the air.

We said, "Yes," to hosting two international orphan brothers, ages six and nine, in our home over the winter break and Christmas holiday.  We are excited about the opportunity and can hardly wait to meet the boys!  But we are, also, clinging to our faith in God, for this is quite possibly the biggest test He has ever given us.  The boys speak no English, and the nine year old has what we believe to be cerebral palsy.  It will cost more than what we have to bring them over and provide for their needs once they are here.  It will be physically and mentally challenging to take care of them and our own three boys for an entire month.  There will be hurdles and obstacles to overcome that we won't even be able to anticipate.  We are hanging in the air, praying that there is something solid beneath us to land on.

There is!  We haven't landed, yet; all the answers aren't there, yet.  But we know there is a Solid Rock below our feet, and with God's grace, we will land squarely on top of Him!

Please continue to pray for us and these sweet little boys as God guides us on this journey of faith.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Leap of Faith

I. Am. Scared.

I think God is taking my blog a bit too literally.  When I said I want to live a life of faith, what I meant was...well...what did I mean?  I said I want to have the faith of those who trusted God when they had nothing, when they were faced with severe penalties for following His plan, when He asked them to do the unthinkable.  So why am I so scared now that He's giving me that opportunity?

I'm scared of what others may think.  What He's asking of my husband and me is ridiculous.  This is not the way you do things in this day and age.  You don't step out in faith like the priests did to part the Red Sea.  No!  That's old school!  Now-a-days, you wait until God parts the Sea and then step out onto the dry land.  No wet feet for us, anymore!  Only "radical" Christians do weird things like that.  Only Christians with nothing to lose take leaps of faith without knowing how it will all work out. Right?

I'm scared of what may happen to my family.  This will take away any safety net that we may possibly have left.  What if something goes wrong?  What if we can't get back what we need?  I already feel as if we are struggling.  I already feel as if we are living by faith just to make it from month to month.  I've already evaluated the logical options and exhausted all possibilities of, well, not having to live so much by faith.  I can't make it work.  How can I take the little that we have left and use it all up?

*Sigh.*  The time has come to call it what it is: I'm scared to obey.  Is that true?  Did I actually confess that?  Yes.  I did.  I'm scared to do what God is telling me to do; therefore, I am scared to obey.  What is wrong with me?  Isn't obedience what I teach my children every day?  Don't we talk about "giving what [we] cannot keep to gain what [we] cannot lose" (Jim Elliott)?  Doesn't God usually ask us to do what seems ridiculous and impossible in order to be glorified in the result?  Abraham had to move away from everything with no clear destination before God could make a great nation out of him.  One widow had to share the last bit of food she had with the prophet before God could bless her with more.  Another widow had to pour out the oil she had left into the other pots for God to multiply it.  Yet another widow was praised by Jesus Himself for giving her last bit of money to the ministry, and I doubt He failed to provide for her in some way after that.  How can I think that He will not provide for my family if we simply obey Him?

We are not missionaries in a foreign land.  We have not been called to travel the states as evangelists or Christian performers living off of love offerings.  We have been blessed with a house, a job, three beautiful little boys, a loving family, a Bible-preaching church, godly friends, and more.  What He's asking of us should not take any of those things away, and what it will take is not more than what our Heavenly Father who owns the cattle on a thousand hills cannot replace or restore if necessary, right?  He took care of others when they obeyed His leading and blessed them with even more than what they gave.  What a blessing, then, for us to be asked to take such a leap of faith!

So now there is no room for fear, only power and love and a sound mind.  There is no other choice but to obey and leap.

Please pray for us as we step out into the water and watch for God to part the Red Sea.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Journey Begins

I've always admired the faith of those whose stories are told in Christian circles as examples of complete reliance upon God.  Men like George Muller and Jim Elliot; women like Elisabeth Elliot and Corrie Ten Boom; Biblical examples like Ruth and Abraham and Esther.  I suppose it's easy now to look at their lives and say, "Of course, they relied on God; look what He did for them."  But as they were in the moment, experiencing those trials and tests of faith, I doubt they felt so flippant about it.  Yet, they pursued with faith and trust in God Almighty that path which lay before them, which He had chosen and designed for them, both knowing the struggles they would face but both also knowing that God would carry them through as they leaned upon His Mighty Arm.

So, why should it be any different for me.  When I faced the trial of loneliness and singleness when my heart cried out for something different, God was there.  When I had medical issues, housing issues, job problems, and car troubles, God was there.  I trusted.  I had faith.  I struggled.  It was not as easy as I had thought it would be to live from day to day without the answer to my prayers being anything but, "Have faith; trust Me."

I did trust.  I did have faith.  It was hard, but God did come through and bring to pass the answers I had longed for.  He took care of the physical needs and brought me a Prince Charming in His timing.  He's given me a beautiful family for which I am eternally grateful.

But the journey of faith was only beginning.